Whenever I tell people I have 5 children I am greeted with something akin to incredule! When I tell them they are all boys there is a second sharp intake of breath. I am told often that Mothers of many boys go straight to Heaven (one can hope I suppose) and other consolatory platitudes. It's sweet, but I don't believe there is a multiplying factor, once you are a parent you deserve to be commended. I always wanted a large family and eventually I talked Andrew into it too. I was perfectly happy with my 4 boys, then I got a bonus with Aedan. I'm often asked if I was trying for a girl, but I never have.
I don't believe there is a perfect number, and I have heard so many different stories about family size. There is controversy too! (but I guess there is always someone ready to criticise everyone about something!) Some say it's putting strain on the planet others say we need more of the younger generations to help support our country as our population ages. Some parents feel pressure from family to have more or less children. Honestly, I believe it is something highly personal, in fact, you can't really get much more personal.
There are absolutely positives and negatives for every case. Personally, I look into the future and see lots of family get-togethers with lots of grandchildren (I guess we'll see about that). I hope that my boys all stay close and have a big network of support and friendship. At the moment though it is bloody hard work. The question I hear most is; "How do you do it?" and my answer is always "one day at a time", and that is true, if you asked me what I was doing next Tuesday, I couldn't tell you until next Monday evening! Each day is exhausting because listening to 5 children, talking to 5 children and disciplining 5 children is exactly 5 times harder than doing it with 1.
Honestly, there are days when I ask myself why I have 5 children and think about how lovely it would be to do life with 1 or 2 little ones to care for, but when I look at each face I already know the answer. I have a very dear friend who is a generation older that me, and I remember talking to her about the decision to have a 3rd baby, I really felt like I wanted to have another one and I was concerned that I would never stop having this desire to have another baby. She told me that she had felt the same way after her second child but after her third, the feeling went away and she felt complete. Obviously, I went ahead and had number three but I still felt the same way, and finally after number four I knew what she meant. I was satisfied and very happy with 4.
I have friends who say they felt the exact same way, but some have felt it at 1, 2, 3, 4 and to a much lesser extent 5 and more! I have no advice to give on the right number because I can only speak from personal experience, but if you would like to tell us about your family dynamics I would love to hear about how the number of children you have affects your life.
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