I was surprised to find that some of my children's school friends had terrible reactions to having to do the NAPLAN tests at school a couple of months back. For those of you who may be reading this from outside of Australia; NAPLAN stands for National Assessment Program - Literacy and Numeracy. An assessment that all children in Australia do each year when they are in year 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9, which cover Reading, Writing, Language Conventions
(Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation) and Numeracy.
I am very fortunate that the 2 of my boys who were involved this year actually looked forward to it. They take after their mum - I have always loved sitting for examinations at school and university. What I never enjoyed was the written assignments that hung over me for weeks and weeks before I actually sat down and did them. I like things that happen quickly - I have limited patience for waiting for things in life in general.
What it highlighted to me is that we are all so different and cope differently with challenges in our lives. I think it is such a shame that children who find it so stressful that they are physically ill or begin the year 3 school year with the NAPLAN test as the forethought in their mind, are still mandated to sit the test. Surely that would affect the validity of their results. But it is what it is, so we (and they) in reality, have to deal with it. I love the teachers who make sure the children understand that the school is the 'who' that is being judged because in all honesty that is the bottom line. The test will not affect the child or their life in any way (honestly, do you think at a job interview in 2026 they'll ask whether you were within the average range of students for grammar and punctuation?)
A friend of mine said she would not let her daughter see her results - good on you. If it will affect her negatively then why would you?
I do encourage those of you who have children sitting this test next year (or any year) to let them know it just doesn't matter.
I told my boys to read questions properly, take their time (I have one who thinks it's a race to the end of the paper) and not to leave any answers blank (a guess is as good as a miss). Remind them that this is a test to make sure the school is teaching them everything they need to know, so it's important but not something to be worried about.
I believe in always doing your best - in everything you do, but I also believe that we aren't all meant to fit into the same mould. I've said it before, if there was a drawing component on the NAPLAN I would not feel so happy about the whole thing! Our children will shine in the way they were meant to, but don't let them falter over the "meaningless" things. It's our job to make the big things seem so much more their size.
Friday 5 October 2012
Wednesday 20 June 2012
Feeding the troops
Every day is a crisis! What am I going to feed this lot tonight? At the moment with life so busy I never have enough ingredients to create even the most basic meals. I barely have time to shop, let alone cook! Andrew and I are on a low carb diet and the baby still needs different meals, luckily the other 4 just eat what they're given. I try to give the kids a protein, vegetables and a carbohydrate with each meal. And I will admit, on nights where we rush home from work, and have to get ready for the gym almost immediately, it's often nuggets or fish fingers, frozen veges and a slice of bread!
It is really hard to find low cost, time thrifty recipes that still maintain a healthy, balanced diet. I do not even want to think about my food bill in 10 (or even 5) years time! Harrison has just hit 10 and can consume almost as much as us! A loaf of bread lasts 1 day and 2 litres of milk 2 days if we're lucky. I made chilli con carne last night and I used 1kg of mince and there were no leftovers.
I have tried to plan ahead and write out a month of meals, but it always falls by the wayside before a week's out. I do have a few throw together meals. and chilli con carne is one of them. I know that they all love it and most of the ingredients are from the pantry. http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/12947/chilli+con+carne I just serve it with rice, grated cheese and sour cream and they gobble it up.
Another favourite is tuna pasta bake and surprisingly zucchini slice is too. Every cook has pantry staples and I feel naked if I don't have canned tomatoes, canned beans (cannellini, kidney or chickpeas), eggs, rice and pasta. The boys have had many a throw together meal, and sometimes they like those better than the ones that take hours to prepare and execute.
I would love to know if anyone has any easy meals for children that they have tried and tested.
It is really hard to find low cost, time thrifty recipes that still maintain a healthy, balanced diet. I do not even want to think about my food bill in 10 (or even 5) years time! Harrison has just hit 10 and can consume almost as much as us! A loaf of bread lasts 1 day and 2 litres of milk 2 days if we're lucky. I made chilli con carne last night and I used 1kg of mince and there were no leftovers.
I have tried to plan ahead and write out a month of meals, but it always falls by the wayside before a week's out. I do have a few throw together meals. and chilli con carne is one of them. I know that they all love it and most of the ingredients are from the pantry. http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/12947/chilli+con+carne I just serve it with rice, grated cheese and sour cream and they gobble it up.
Another favourite is tuna pasta bake and surprisingly zucchini slice is too. Every cook has pantry staples and I feel naked if I don't have canned tomatoes, canned beans (cannellini, kidney or chickpeas), eggs, rice and pasta. The boys have had many a throw together meal, and sometimes they like those better than the ones that take hours to prepare and execute.
I would love to know if anyone has any easy meals for children that they have tried and tested.
Wednesday 9 May 2012
sanity in numbers
I had a lovely talk with a good friend today. The subject itself wasn't lovely, we were comparing notes about our sons who both have ADHD. What was wonderful was that we were able to share our experiences and discuss the topic knowing that each of us totally 'got' what the other was talking (and crying) about.
I know I have said it before, and I know I will say it uncountable times again; parenting is THE hardest task on earth.One of the best...no... the best resource parents have available to them are other parents. "Other parents" fall into two categories - parents who have children the same age as yours and those who have been there before. The first category are very useful for having a reciprocal whinge with and they might even have tips to share too! The second category are invaluable to listen to. Too many mums and dads think they need to re-invent the wheel all on their own. Surprisingly, parenting has been done before! (yes, you should even listen to your mum and - dare I say it - your mother-in-law!)
Mum's groups are no accident! They have developed through clever, like-minded mums gathering to be a crutch and spirit-guide for each other. I was a regular attendee with number 1 and 2 (I dream about those slower-paced days) and I miss the regular purging of concern and helplessness. I had to try 2 or 3 until I found one where I felt like I fit, but it was truly worth it! I am fortunate in the position I am in now to be able to talk to many different mums and dads every single day. Sometimes I give advice and sometimes I get it! (We have quite a few grandmothers who come to Funkee Monkees!)
We like to think we will be able to parent effortlessly and that we just 'know' how to raise our children. Don't get me wrong I think we do a fabulous job most of the time and there is a huge amount of instinct involved. I think it would be silly, though, to refuse the advice of others more experienced than ourselves. I remember when I was expecting my first baby, I was going to use only cloth nappies, not use a dummy and feed him only home-cooked food. Well.....I tried cloth nappies for 1 day and after changing Harrison's outfit about 3 times in 1 hour I ripped open the disposables (sorry Lotte), I should have used a dummy because stopping a little boy from thumb-sucking is sooo much harder than throwing out a few dummies and after burning myself out (and a couple of saucepans which I forgot about) trying to stew fruit, I went to the IGA and bought a few dozen jars. I thought I knew it all, I thought it would be easy and I thought I would do everything perfectly. None of those have been true.
Somewhere along the way during 10 years of parenting learned to listen to advice. Of course, I don't mean blindly follow what is suggested to you, but actually hear what people are gracious enough to pass on to you, and consider blending it with your own way of doing things. Be open to advice and listen eagerly to the stories of parents.
My friend is a little bit further down the ADHD road than we are and I am so grateful that she is willing to share what is sometimes a painful part of her family life. I value her as much as I value the medical professionals who help us.
I know I have said it before, and I know I will say it uncountable times again; parenting is THE hardest task on earth.
Mum's groups are no accident! They have developed through clever, like-minded mums gathering to be a crutch and spirit-guide for each other. I was a regular attendee with number 1 and 2 (I dream about those slower-paced days) and I miss the regular purging of concern and helplessness. I had to try 2 or 3 until I found one where I felt like I fit, but it was truly worth it! I am fortunate in the position I am in now to be able to talk to many different mums and dads every single day. Sometimes I give advice and sometimes I get it! (We have quite a few grandmothers who come to Funkee Monkees!)
We like to think we will be able to parent effortlessly and that we just 'know' how to raise our children. Don't get me wrong I think we do a fabulous job most of the time and there is a huge amount of instinct involved. I think it would be silly, though, to refuse the advice of others more experienced than ourselves. I remember when I was expecting my first baby, I was going to use only cloth nappies, not use a dummy and feed him only home-cooked food. Well.....I tried cloth nappies for 1 day and after changing Harrison's outfit about 3 times in 1 hour I ripped open the disposables (sorry Lotte), I should have used a dummy because stopping a little boy from thumb-sucking is sooo much harder than throwing out a few dummies and after burning myself out (and a couple of saucepans which I forgot about) trying to stew fruit, I went to the IGA and bought a few dozen jars. I thought I knew it all, I thought it would be easy and I thought I would do everything perfectly. None of those have been true.
Somewhere along the way during 10 years of parenting learned to listen to advice. Of course, I don't mean blindly follow what is suggested to you, but actually hear what people are gracious enough to pass on to you, and consider blending it with your own way of doing things. Be open to advice and listen eagerly to the stories of parents.
My friend is a little bit further down the ADHD road than we are and I am so grateful that she is willing to share what is sometimes a painful part of her family life. I value her as much as I value the medical professionals who help us.
Saturday 21 April 2012
....and babies make 7
Whenever I tell people I have 5 children I am greeted with something akin to incredule! When I tell them they are all boys there is a second sharp intake of breath. I am told often that Mothers of many boys go straight to Heaven (one can hope I suppose) and other consolatory platitudes. It's sweet, but I don't believe there is a multiplying factor, once you are a parent you deserve to be commended. I always wanted a large family and eventually I talked Andrew into it too. I was perfectly happy with my 4 boys, then I got a bonus with Aedan. I'm often asked if I was trying for a girl, but I never have.
I don't believe there is a perfect number, and I have heard so many different stories about family size. There is controversy too! (but I guess there is always someone ready to criticise everyone about something!) Some say it's putting strain on the planet others say we need more of the younger generations to help support our country as our population ages. Some parents feel pressure from family to have more or less children. Honestly, I believe it is something highly personal, in fact, you can't really get much more personal.
There are absolutely positives and negatives for every case. Personally, I look into the future and see lots of family get-togethers with lots of grandchildren (I guess we'll see about that). I hope that my boys all stay close and have a big network of support and friendship. At the moment though it is bloody hard work. The question I hear most is; "How do you do it?" and my answer is always "one day at a time", and that is true, if you asked me what I was doing next Tuesday, I couldn't tell you until next Monday evening! Each day is exhausting because listening to 5 children, talking to 5 children and disciplining 5 children is exactly 5 times harder than doing it with 1.
Honestly, there are days when I ask myself why I have 5 children and think about how lovely it would be to do life with 1 or 2 little ones to care for, but when I look at each face I already know the answer. I have a very dear friend who is a generation older that me, and I remember talking to her about the decision to have a 3rd baby, I really felt like I wanted to have another one and I was concerned that I would never stop having this desire to have another baby. She told me that she had felt the same way after her second child but after her third, the feeling went away and she felt complete. Obviously, I went ahead and had number three but I still felt the same way, and finally after number four I knew what she meant. I was satisfied and very happy with 4.
I have friends who say they felt the exact same way, but some have felt it at 1, 2, 3, 4 and to a much lesser extent 5 and more! I have no advice to give on the right number because I can only speak from personal experience, but if you would like to tell us about your family dynamics I would love to hear about how the number of children you have affects your life.
I don't believe there is a perfect number, and I have heard so many different stories about family size. There is controversy too! (but I guess there is always someone ready to criticise everyone about something!) Some say it's putting strain on the planet others say we need more of the younger generations to help support our country as our population ages. Some parents feel pressure from family to have more or less children. Honestly, I believe it is something highly personal, in fact, you can't really get much more personal.
There are absolutely positives and negatives for every case. Personally, I look into the future and see lots of family get-togethers with lots of grandchildren (I guess we'll see about that). I hope that my boys all stay close and have a big network of support and friendship. At the moment though it is bloody hard work. The question I hear most is; "How do you do it?" and my answer is always "one day at a time", and that is true, if you asked me what I was doing next Tuesday, I couldn't tell you until next Monday evening! Each day is exhausting because listening to 5 children, talking to 5 children and disciplining 5 children is exactly 5 times harder than doing it with 1.
Honestly, there are days when I ask myself why I have 5 children and think about how lovely it would be to do life with 1 or 2 little ones to care for, but when I look at each face I already know the answer. I have a very dear friend who is a generation older that me, and I remember talking to her about the decision to have a 3rd baby, I really felt like I wanted to have another one and I was concerned that I would never stop having this desire to have another baby. She told me that she had felt the same way after her second child but after her third, the feeling went away and she felt complete. Obviously, I went ahead and had number three but I still felt the same way, and finally after number four I knew what she meant. I was satisfied and very happy with 4.
I have friends who say they felt the exact same way, but some have felt it at 1, 2, 3, 4 and to a much lesser extent 5 and more! I have no advice to give on the right number because I can only speak from personal experience, but if you would like to tell us about your family dynamics I would love to hear about how the number of children you have affects your life.
Thursday 12 April 2012
Manners matter
Excuse me for this post, I am going to rant! I have noticed that there is a movement towards throwing common courtesy out the window. Maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age, but it seems that every day of my life I come across someone who believes it is okay to treat others around them as though they are insignificant.
It's not just the younger generations either; it seems to be proliferating from everywhere. My concern, though, is our children. I believe it is VITAL for parents to start a child's life with ENFORCING please, thank you, excuse me and sorry. I have capitalised the two words above because I feel strongly that it has to be done and done without relent. Every single time a child is offered or asks for something there needs to be a mandatory please or thank you in order for the deal to be closed, or complacency will set in. Children learn by repetition and we are their first and most important teachers.
I may sound over-dramatic but without a foundation there is nothing to build on. There is nothing wrong with respecting others, it isn't infringing on their rights as human beings (that seems to be an excuse for not having to do many things these days) in fact isn't "treating others as we wish to be treated" making the world a better place for all of us?
A lady (???) bumped into me last week and she looked at me with contempt. I was floored, I was wholly expecting a "sorry" I even had the words "no worries" ready to speak. Okay, she may have been having the worst day of her life and I try to remember that every time someone disappoints me in the manners department, but come on!
These little things make the people who help us, serve us and put themselves out for us deserve our appreciation and respect. I would love to see a waiter take a plate away from a diner who didn't say thank you!
If my 3 oldest boys don't spontaneously give a please, thank you and excuse me when it is necessary there are consequences. Hamish needs reminding now and again, but he has a bit of time to get there. I want my boys to be grateful for everything they are given; tangible or intangible. Every gift, opportunity or experience. We are all on this earth together, I think it's time people stopped thinking they inhabit the planet on their own.
Sorry if I have been too political.
It's not just the younger generations either; it seems to be proliferating from everywhere. My concern, though, is our children. I believe it is VITAL for parents to start a child's life with ENFORCING please, thank you, excuse me and sorry. I have capitalised the two words above because I feel strongly that it has to be done and done without relent. Every single time a child is offered or asks for something there needs to be a mandatory please or thank you in order for the deal to be closed, or complacency will set in. Children learn by repetition and we are their first and most important teachers.
I may sound over-dramatic but without a foundation there is nothing to build on. There is nothing wrong with respecting others, it isn't infringing on their rights as human beings (that seems to be an excuse for not having to do many things these days) in fact isn't "treating others as we wish to be treated" making the world a better place for all of us?
A lady (???) bumped into me last week and she looked at me with contempt. I was floored, I was wholly expecting a "sorry" I even had the words "no worries" ready to speak. Okay, she may have been having the worst day of her life and I try to remember that every time someone disappoints me in the manners department, but come on!
These little things make the people who help us, serve us and put themselves out for us deserve our appreciation and respect. I would love to see a waiter take a plate away from a diner who didn't say thank you!
If my 3 oldest boys don't spontaneously give a please, thank you and excuse me when it is necessary there are consequences. Hamish needs reminding now and again, but he has a bit of time to get there. I want my boys to be grateful for everything they are given; tangible or intangible. Every gift, opportunity or experience. We are all on this earth together, I think it's time people stopped thinking they inhabit the planet on their own.
Sorry if I have been too political.
Wednesday 11 April 2012
Celebrating the individual
This time I'm asking for advice!
It has amazed me that all of my boys have such different gifts and abilities. Connor (8 years old) has an unbelievable ability to draw (and he can sing too!)
Declan sat down to draw a picture a few days ago, and it was a perfectly fine drawing for a 6 year old (in fact probably better than I could do) but even he noticed that it wasn't a masterpiece like Connor always manages to produce, and he got quite upset about it. I praised him, and told him it was a fabulous picture, and I put it on the fridge. It didn't fool him though, it didn't make him feel any better.
Yes, we always talk about Connor's drawing ability, but I'm sure I put as much enthusiasm into Declan's praise. We always talk about the things that each of us are good at, and make a point of praising each member of our family's uniqueness. I guess it's a pretty big status symbol to be good at drawing at their age! Can't say that I know anything about that, because I have never been able to draw a stick figure with any success, but I can remember being at school and being in awe of the drawings of my peers. I could write a mean poem, though!
When I was teaching I always encouraged children to find their "thing", whether it be a sport, an academic ability, an ability in one of the arts or having altruistic tendencies....whatever! I was the first one to tell my students I can't draw, play sports to any ability level and so many other things, but I can spell, write and know my times tables back to front!
My point is, how do you celebrate one child, without making the other feel a little left out. "Every dog has his day", and I'm the first one to tell my kids to "get over it". But sometimes even a hardened mum like myself, feels pangs of sympathy for them. I am certainly not a parent who gives the other children "a little something" on their sibling's birthday. I do believe that children need to learn that it's not all about them in this world. I try to spend a little bit of quality time with each of them individually (with 5 of them it really is a "little" bit), but I'm really not sure what else I can do.
He probably doesn't even remember the picture or the feelings he had about it, but I would like to feel a little more confident about what to do next time this situation pops up with the boys. Can I add, I am soooo not looking forward to the whole girlfriends season of life!!!
It has amazed me that all of my boys have such different gifts and abilities. Connor (8 years old) has an unbelievable ability to draw (and he can sing too!)
Declan sat down to draw a picture a few days ago, and it was a perfectly fine drawing for a 6 year old (in fact probably better than I could do) but even he noticed that it wasn't a masterpiece like Connor always manages to produce, and he got quite upset about it. I praised him, and told him it was a fabulous picture, and I put it on the fridge. It didn't fool him though, it didn't make him feel any better.
Yes, we always talk about Connor's drawing ability, but I'm sure I put as much enthusiasm into Declan's praise. We always talk about the things that each of us are good at, and make a point of praising each member of our family's uniqueness. I guess it's a pretty big status symbol to be good at drawing at their age! Can't say that I know anything about that, because I have never been able to draw a stick figure with any success, but I can remember being at school and being in awe of the drawings of my peers. I could write a mean poem, though!
When I was teaching I always encouraged children to find their "thing", whether it be a sport, an academic ability, an ability in one of the arts or having altruistic tendencies....whatever! I was the first one to tell my students I can't draw, play sports to any ability level and so many other things, but I can spell, write and know my times tables back to front!
My point is, how do you celebrate one child, without making the other feel a little left out. "Every dog has his day", and I'm the first one to tell my kids to "get over it". But sometimes even a hardened mum like myself, feels pangs of sympathy for them. I am certainly not a parent who gives the other children "a little something" on their sibling's birthday. I do believe that children need to learn that it's not all about them in this world. I try to spend a little bit of quality time with each of them individually (with 5 of them it really is a "little" bit), but I'm really not sure what else I can do.
He probably doesn't even remember the picture or the feelings he had about it, but I would like to feel a little more confident about what to do next time this situation pops up with the boys. Can I add, I am soooo not looking forward to the whole girlfriends season of life!!!
Monday 9 April 2012
Little Mrs Not-So-Perfect
Well according to every ad on TV I am sorely lacking in every way, shape and form! Have you noticed that every mother who is depicted in ads look absolutely stunning (don't count the RACQ ads!) has an immaculate house, dresses their children impeccably, makes gourmet meals for dinner every night and has a husband who gazes at them lovingly whilst she wipes away the one little smudge on the stove top that she carelessly plopped there in a moment of imperfection. Oh, and she never raises her voice or stops smiling.
Bahaha!
I hope I'm correct in my assumption that I am not the only one whose life is so far from this depiction and that others also become mildly irritated every time one shows up in the middle of The Biggest Loser or Revenge! I know that it's all marketing (Zali, you know how they roll) but it does nothing for the self-esteem of hard-working, every-day mums.
I'm going to be honest, and tell you that my kitchen is not always cleaned up straight after dinner and my benches are full of broken toys that I said I'd fix months ago, school notes and awards, baby bottles and this week Easter egg wrappers! I aspire to have a clutter-free kitchen, with only a bowl full of ripe fruit as adornment, but I constantly fail. My lounge room is a conglomerate of DVDs out of their case, Wii remotes and matchbox toys (at the moment there is no lego or random bits of junk because Aedan would have them in his mouth in a flash). My double garage only fits one car. The kid's bathroom is rarely without toothpaste splatters on the mirror and we won't talk about their toilet (4 boys remember!) I have been to many friend's homes that look exactly like mine and I still respect all of them and think of them as amazing women and fantastic mothers.
It's taken me a long time to get to the place where I've stopped giving myself a hard time about my household imperfection. I remember (and I still occasionally have a mini-breakdown about the mess or the pile of washing at the end of my bed) letting myself get worked-up about the chaos around me and wasting so much energy on criticising myself. Finally, after a decade of being a mother, I am comfortable with choosing other things as my priorities. I have chosen my business (because I have to). I have chosen my family (because I love them). I have chosen going to the gym (because I need to and I love it).
My husband couldn't care less and in-fact has been the biggest advocate for "getting over it", and I have started to worry less about what my Mother thinks (yes okay, I do a mad dash around before she gets here!) My boys are absolutely oblivious to mess (aagghhhh!) and they do not know what a washing basket is, so they certainly don't think any less of me. My biggest critic is me and I am trying hard to let go of the unobtainable image of perfection that my TV keeps showing me and although I find the RACQ ads so utterly annoying http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKin2cSnb5Q, part of me likes to think they're closer to reality than that ad with the disposable anti-bacterial kitchen wipes. I can't believe I wipe my benches with a cloth!
Bahaha!
I hope I'm correct in my assumption that I am not the only one whose life is so far from this depiction and that others also become mildly irritated every time one shows up in the middle of The Biggest Loser or Revenge! I know that it's all marketing (Zali, you know how they roll) but it does nothing for the self-esteem of hard-working, every-day mums.
I'm going to be honest, and tell you that my kitchen is not always cleaned up straight after dinner and my benches are full of broken toys that I said I'd fix months ago, school notes and awards, baby bottles and this week Easter egg wrappers! I aspire to have a clutter-free kitchen, with only a bowl full of ripe fruit as adornment, but I constantly fail. My lounge room is a conglomerate of DVDs out of their case, Wii remotes and matchbox toys (at the moment there is no lego or random bits of junk because Aedan would have them in his mouth in a flash). My double garage only fits one car. The kid's bathroom is rarely without toothpaste splatters on the mirror and we won't talk about their toilet (4 boys remember!) I have been to many friend's homes that look exactly like mine and I still respect all of them and think of them as amazing women and fantastic mothers.
It's taken me a long time to get to the place where I've stopped giving myself a hard time about my household imperfection. I remember (and I still occasionally have a mini-breakdown about the mess or the pile of washing at the end of my bed) letting myself get worked-up about the chaos around me and wasting so much energy on criticising myself. Finally, after a decade of being a mother, I am comfortable with choosing other things as my priorities. I have chosen my business (because I have to). I have chosen my family (because I love them). I have chosen going to the gym (because I need to and I love it).
My husband couldn't care less and in-fact has been the biggest advocate for "getting over it", and I have started to worry less about what my Mother thinks (yes okay, I do a mad dash around before she gets here!) My boys are absolutely oblivious to mess (aagghhhh!) and they do not know what a washing basket is, so they certainly don't think any less of me. My biggest critic is me and I am trying hard to let go of the unobtainable image of perfection that my TV keeps showing me and although I find the RACQ ads so utterly annoying http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKin2cSnb5Q, part of me likes to think they're closer to reality than that ad with the disposable anti-bacterial kitchen wipes. I can't believe I wipe my benches with a cloth!
Saturday 7 April 2012
The elusive perfect lunchbox
Those of you who have school-age children or little ones in child care, know that keeping the lunchbox filled with healthy, economical items that they will actually eat is a huge challenge. I count the "lunchbox years" that I have left, and it fills me with dread. I can handle the never-ending loads of washing and every other aspect of taking care of my children until they reach adulthood, but the lunchbox is especially challenging for me.
It doesn't help that all 4 of my boys have different dislikes (and I often get in trouble for sending the wrong items with the wrong child) and then there are the regulations that the school has in place. Not only do we have to send what they consider healthy food, but we also have to refrain from sending foods that other children have allergies to. Now don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to do that, but it does add to the challenge. For instance, my boys love having a boiled egg in their lunch, but now that there is 1 child at the school with an egg allergy, that needs to be crossed off the list.
I have lunchbox staples (which I always buy at Aldi, because they are so much better and cheaper than the other supermarkets - more praising of Aldi another time), which are good when you wake up at 6 in the morning and have to come up with 4 lunches in the least amount of time possible! Cheesesticks, yoghurt, fruit, sultanas, rice crackers and a vegemite sandwich (but of course to make it difficult, number 1 doesn't like the rice crackers and number 2 doesn't like cheesesticks, yoghurt, sultanas or rice crackers!). Other items I throw in to mix it up a bit are cans of tuna, cans of corn kernels,carrot sticks, avocado and cream cheese with crackers, cherry tomatoes and any leftovers that don't need reheating.
I always have a peek in other kid's lunchboxes to try and "steal" ideas. One interesting idea I found last week was precooked ravioli (no sauce) in a Tupperware container. I'm going to precook a whole packet, split it up and freeze it, ready to go. I'll tell you how it goes.
I checked out a few different sites that give lunchbox ideas and they were interesting, but everything I looked at was high in shopping and preparation time. If you are a mum who is lucky enough to have time to spend on amazing lunches, this is the website for you! http://www.freshforkids.com.au/lunch_box/lunch_box.html
I got a couple of ideas; like pikelets (I'm sure Aldi sells those too) and a recipe for sweetcorn and zucchini fritters which I am going to try.
http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/16086/sweetcorn+and+zucchini+fritters
I occasionally make a slice or mini-muffins to freeze and put in the lunch box through the week, but honestly, I just don't have the time. I've gotten over feeling guilty about that, but I do feel like the world's best mum when I do! I sometimes put a note in there saying "I love you" or something cute like that; surely that makes up for the less-than-gourmet lunches!
If you have any ideas that you would like to share, please do!
It doesn't help that all 4 of my boys have different dislikes (and I often get in trouble for sending the wrong items with the wrong child) and then there are the regulations that the school has in place. Not only do we have to send what they consider healthy food, but we also have to refrain from sending foods that other children have allergies to. Now don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to do that, but it does add to the challenge. For instance, my boys love having a boiled egg in their lunch, but now that there is 1 child at the school with an egg allergy, that needs to be crossed off the list.
I have lunchbox staples (which I always buy at Aldi, because they are so much better and cheaper than the other supermarkets - more praising of Aldi another time), which are good when you wake up at 6 in the morning and have to come up with 4 lunches in the least amount of time possible! Cheesesticks, yoghurt, fruit, sultanas, rice crackers and a vegemite sandwich (but of course to make it difficult, number 1 doesn't like the rice crackers and number 2 doesn't like cheesesticks, yoghurt, sultanas or rice crackers!). Other items I throw in to mix it up a bit are cans of tuna, cans of corn kernels,carrot sticks, avocado and cream cheese with crackers, cherry tomatoes and any leftovers that don't need reheating.
I always have a peek in other kid's lunchboxes to try and "steal" ideas. One interesting idea I found last week was precooked ravioli (no sauce) in a Tupperware container. I'm going to precook a whole packet, split it up and freeze it, ready to go. I'll tell you how it goes.
I checked out a few different sites that give lunchbox ideas and they were interesting, but everything I looked at was high in shopping and preparation time. If you are a mum who is lucky enough to have time to spend on amazing lunches, this is the website for you! http://www.freshforkids.com.au/lunch_box/lunch_box.html
I got a couple of ideas; like pikelets (I'm sure Aldi sells those too) and a recipe for sweetcorn and zucchini fritters which I am going to try.
http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/16086/sweetcorn+and+zucchini+fritters
I occasionally make a slice or mini-muffins to freeze and put in the lunch box through the week, but honestly, I just don't have the time. I've gotten over feeling guilty about that, but I do feel like the world's best mum when I do! I sometimes put a note in there saying "I love you" or something cute like that; surely that makes up for the less-than-gourmet lunches!
If you have any ideas that you would like to share, please do!
Friday 30 March 2012
Mum knows best
Babies are amazing. When you think about how much they have to learn in such a short time, we should be (and we usually are) in awe of them. Having watched (and watching) my 5 boys go from useless to super-functional has been exciting and the best part is every single one of them have been different.
They have achieved new things in different orders, different ways and to different levels of ability. One example is the first tooth; Harrison's first tooth came at 10 months, Connor was 8 months, Declan was 6 months, Hamish was 9 months, and Aedan is 7 months and still waiting! My nephew was over 1 year before he got his first tooth and we all know the stories about babies who have been born with a tooth or two. My point is, they all get them, but there is no definite and correct age for that to happen. It works for everything that our little ones do; from rolling their little bodies over to saying their first full sentence. I remember Declan rolling over at 4 weeks old and speaking in sentences at 18 months; and yet one of the others didn't roll til 12 weeks and another didn't speak well til about 2 and a half.
My advice is not to worry about it until you need to worry about it. What I am trying to say is always keep a Mother's Eye on your growing baby, toddler and young child; but don't ever, ever, ever compare your child to someone else's, or even your other children. I have learned that if there is something not quite right with your child, that Mothers (and Fathers too), just know! Don't succumb to peer pressure and get involved in competition with those who think first is best. Your baby's brain is developing as it should, and it is such an amazing and complex thing that a brain could not possibly do things the same way twice, there are just too many neurons and synapses to map the same course again. While one baby's brain is surging ahead in the learn how to crawl area, the next baby's brain is working on speech.
But always trust your instinct.
I have two examples of this, which I have experienced (both with the same child, coincidentally). When Declan was about 14 months old, I picked him up from child care and his arm was hanging by his side and every time I touched him, he would whimper. Knowing my own child (and how oblivious to pain he usually was) I knew that something wasn't right. Off I went to the emergency room (I know it so well now!) and told the doctor (how dare I!) that I believed that Declan's arm was broken. He spent so little time looking at it (and squeezing it) and then stated arrogantly "It's not broken! He has had a dislocated elbow, but it has popped back in!" I disagreed with him because another one of my boy's had that wonderful experience, and this was very different. Even the nurse tried to interject with the suggestion of an x-ray, but he would have none of it! We were sent home, but the next day those niggling, mother doubts were telling me that the doctor was wrong. I went to my GP, who agreed with me and sent Declan for an xray. There it was! Both bones were fractured! My GP phoned ahead and we were met at the front desk by the head of emergency (damage control!) and she plastered Declan's arm herself.
My next example is a long story, and I'm sure I'll mention it many times in future posts. But just briefly, when Declan was 18 months old we noticed that his behaviour was becoming quite challenging. He was very easy to tantrum and very defiant. Being number 3 was fortunate for him, because we had a little bit of experience as parents. Our first child was very easy (and still is - so far!) but number two had given us a run for our money; but this was different. We didn't worry too much, but we did keep a Mother's Eye on him. He got worse... and worse... and worse, and all through this time we had a lot of people giving advice and opinions including families, friends, a psychologist and our GP. Eventually, to cut a very long story short, we went to a psychiatrist and Declan (who is 6 years old now) has now been diagnosed with ADHD and is taking medication to assist his behaviour. It is working so well, and I thank God every day for giving me the strength to push on for his diagnosis.
I just knew.
Now, back to where I was going. Accept (and embrace) that your child will be different to everyone else in the world, don't let other people put doubts into your head, and at the same time don't let them dissuade you from your own feelings of concern.
They have achieved new things in different orders, different ways and to different levels of ability. One example is the first tooth; Harrison's first tooth came at 10 months, Connor was 8 months, Declan was 6 months, Hamish was 9 months, and Aedan is 7 months and still waiting! My nephew was over 1 year before he got his first tooth and we all know the stories about babies who have been born with a tooth or two. My point is, they all get them, but there is no definite and correct age for that to happen. It works for everything that our little ones do; from rolling their little bodies over to saying their first full sentence. I remember Declan rolling over at 4 weeks old and speaking in sentences at 18 months; and yet one of the others didn't roll til 12 weeks and another didn't speak well til about 2 and a half.
My advice is not to worry about it until you need to worry about it. What I am trying to say is always keep a Mother's Eye on your growing baby, toddler and young child; but don't ever, ever, ever compare your child to someone else's, or even your other children. I have learned that if there is something not quite right with your child, that Mothers (and Fathers too), just know! Don't succumb to peer pressure and get involved in competition with those who think first is best. Your baby's brain is developing as it should, and it is such an amazing and complex thing that a brain could not possibly do things the same way twice, there are just too many neurons and synapses to map the same course again. While one baby's brain is surging ahead in the learn how to crawl area, the next baby's brain is working on speech.
But always trust your instinct.
I have two examples of this, which I have experienced (both with the same child, coincidentally). When Declan was about 14 months old, I picked him up from child care and his arm was hanging by his side and every time I touched him, he would whimper. Knowing my own child (and how oblivious to pain he usually was) I knew that something wasn't right. Off I went to the emergency room (I know it so well now!) and told the doctor (how dare I!) that I believed that Declan's arm was broken. He spent so little time looking at it (and squeezing it) and then stated arrogantly "It's not broken! He has had a dislocated elbow, but it has popped back in!" I disagreed with him because another one of my boy's had that wonderful experience, and this was very different. Even the nurse tried to interject with the suggestion of an x-ray, but he would have none of it! We were sent home, but the next day those niggling, mother doubts were telling me that the doctor was wrong. I went to my GP, who agreed with me and sent Declan for an xray. There it was! Both bones were fractured! My GP phoned ahead and we were met at the front desk by the head of emergency (damage control!) and she plastered Declan's arm herself.
My next example is a long story, and I'm sure I'll mention it many times in future posts. But just briefly, when Declan was 18 months old we noticed that his behaviour was becoming quite challenging. He was very easy to tantrum and very defiant. Being number 3 was fortunate for him, because we had a little bit of experience as parents. Our first child was very easy (and still is - so far!) but number two had given us a run for our money; but this was different. We didn't worry too much, but we did keep a Mother's Eye on him. He got worse... and worse... and worse, and all through this time we had a lot of people giving advice and opinions including families, friends, a psychologist and our GP. Eventually, to cut a very long story short, we went to a psychiatrist and Declan (who is 6 years old now) has now been diagnosed with ADHD and is taking medication to assist his behaviour. It is working so well, and I thank God every day for giving me the strength to push on for his diagnosis.
I just knew.
Now, back to where I was going. Accept (and embrace) that your child will be different to everyone else in the world, don't let other people put doubts into your head, and at the same time don't let them dissuade you from your own feelings of concern.
Saturday 24 March 2012
How much is enough?
As you may or may not know, I have 5 sons, ranging in age from almost 10 years to 7 months old. As you can imagine we have every boy-type toy on Earth. I often look at this huge mound of stuff and wonder when the last time was that any of it was actually played with.
When each birthday and Christmas came around I found myself unable to think of a gift to buy that we didn't already have somewhere in one of the many, many toy boxes. One day, it occurred to me that the word birthday, should not have to equate with "give me lots of things"! I decided that I was not going to buy my children birthday presents anymore. I told them that instead of presents we would do something, of their choice (within reason), as a family, to celebrate their birthday.
I had a conversation with my boys about how much we have; in comparison to how little, others around the world have. They have a fairly good understanding of this, because the boy's school participates in providing fund-raising for Tanzania. To my surprise, the boys actually embraced the idea, but I was still dubious as to how they would react in practice
My oldest son's 8th birthday was the first test, and I watched his face as I handed him only a birthday card. Amazingly, there was no flicker of disappointment, and he thanked me for his card. (We were in Sydney on a well-timed 3-day holiday which I believe made it a little easier!) It was a great example for his brothers, and we have had quite a few birthdays since then; all present free!
We still celebrate Christmas with gifts and they do receive birthday presents from Grandparents, but the boys all know that birthday does not equal gifts from Mum and Dad. When I tell others about our tradition I am met with incredulous looks. I feel brave doing this because it really is anti-conformity. My husband and I don't give gifts to each other either; not for birthdays, anniversaries or Christmas. I have to say though, the odd bunch of flowers is nice!
Our boys want for nothing, and missing out on moulded plastic and metal on their birthday is not going to do them any harm and I am hoping it will teach them a little about excessivity. Maybe.
When each birthday and Christmas came around I found myself unable to think of a gift to buy that we didn't already have somewhere in one of the many, many toy boxes. One day, it occurred to me that the word birthday, should not have to equate with "give me lots of things"! I decided that I was not going to buy my children birthday presents anymore. I told them that instead of presents we would do something, of their choice (within reason), as a family, to celebrate their birthday.
I had a conversation with my boys about how much we have; in comparison to how little, others around the world have. They have a fairly good understanding of this, because the boy's school participates in providing fund-raising for Tanzania. To my surprise, the boys actually embraced the idea, but I was still dubious as to how they would react in practice
My oldest son's 8th birthday was the first test, and I watched his face as I handed him only a birthday card. Amazingly, there was no flicker of disappointment, and he thanked me for his card. (We were in Sydney on a well-timed 3-day holiday which I believe made it a little easier!) It was a great example for his brothers, and we have had quite a few birthdays since then; all present free!
We still celebrate Christmas with gifts and they do receive birthday presents from Grandparents, but the boys all know that birthday does not equal gifts from Mum and Dad. When I tell others about our tradition I am met with incredulous looks. I feel brave doing this because it really is anti-conformity. My husband and I don't give gifts to each other either; not for birthdays, anniversaries or Christmas. I have to say though, the odd bunch of flowers is nice!
Our boys want for nothing, and missing out on moulded plastic and metal on their birthday is not going to do them any harm and I am hoping it will teach them a little about excessivity. Maybe.
Judge, jury and ....
An issue close to my heart is tantrums. Not that I love them, but I have had to come to terms with embracing them (if you can't beat 'em join 'em)! Correct me if I'm wrong, but every child has them (albeit some more than others).
Now, the purpose of this piece of writing is to make you feel better when your children take their turn. If you don't have a child who has reached the "wonderful" age of 3 yet, then you may not know what I am talking about (or maybe you have an early starter - I had one of those), but you will. My plea to the parents of under-3s is not to judge those of us who are living in this season. It is heart-wrenching, peace-shattering, soul-destroying..... If you think I am being over-dramatic, I am actually understating how terrible it is!
The feeling of being in the middle of a crowded shopping centre while the 3 year-old love of your life is flailing around on the filthy floor whilst emitting a sound that is a little less than sound-barrier level, is just awful. What makes it worse is when you look around hoping for a supportive smile or someone who looks like they might know how you feel, and instead, you get disapproving glares, shaking heads and a chorus of tut-tuts. And this is from mothers, grand-mothers and not-quite-yet mothers?!
Have you all forgotten? Have you blocked it from your memory in the hope that you can pretend to your friends, daughters and daughters-in-law that your child NEVER dared behave like that? Well I call your bluff, they did. They all do.
The old adage is true, "Do not judge someone until you have walked in their shoes". If you don't yet have a 3 year old, then please; "Do not judge, lest ye be judged harsher"! It's the hormones, and unless you're willing to have your child's endocrine system removed it is better to be prepared than kid yourself that you will not succumb to this stage.
Yesterday I saw a mother who, in my opinion, is a champion. Her beautiful little 3-year-old was being, well... a 3-year-old; she did the best thing anyone can do for a little boy in this situation. She gave an instruction with a consequence, and when he didn't respond favourably she FOLLOWED THROUGH! She took him home kicking and screaming, it was heavenly! She said she was embarrassed, but I made sure she knew I thought she was a hero. Before this child reaches the seemingly elusive age of 4, he will be a wonderful little member of society. Stick with it, persevere and never give up; you will beat the tantrum...eventually!
I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to take the time to give a little support to mums-of-3s that you may come across and let them know with a smile or a well-meaning word. My desire is to champion a movement of parents who purposefully support each other in this difficult task of parenting.
Cheers
Now, the purpose of this piece of writing is to make you feel better when your children take their turn. If you don't have a child who has reached the "wonderful" age of 3 yet, then you may not know what I am talking about (or maybe you have an early starter - I had one of those), but you will. My plea to the parents of under-3s is not to judge those of us who are living in this season. It is heart-wrenching, peace-shattering, soul-destroying..... If you think I am being over-dramatic, I am actually understating how terrible it is!
The feeling of being in the middle of a crowded shopping centre while the 3 year-old love of your life is flailing around on the filthy floor whilst emitting a sound that is a little less than sound-barrier level, is just awful. What makes it worse is when you look around hoping for a supportive smile or someone who looks like they might know how you feel, and instead, you get disapproving glares, shaking heads and a chorus of tut-tuts. And this is from mothers, grand-mothers and not-quite-yet mothers?!
Have you all forgotten? Have you blocked it from your memory in the hope that you can pretend to your friends, daughters and daughters-in-law that your child NEVER dared behave like that? Well I call your bluff, they did. They all do.
The old adage is true, "Do not judge someone until you have walked in their shoes". If you don't yet have a 3 year old, then please; "Do not judge, lest ye be judged harsher"! It's the hormones, and unless you're willing to have your child's endocrine system removed it is better to be prepared than kid yourself that you will not succumb to this stage.
Yesterday I saw a mother who, in my opinion, is a champion. Her beautiful little 3-year-old was being, well... a 3-year-old; she did the best thing anyone can do for a little boy in this situation. She gave an instruction with a consequence, and when he didn't respond favourably she FOLLOWED THROUGH! She took him home kicking and screaming, it was heavenly! She said she was embarrassed, but I made sure she knew I thought she was a hero. Before this child reaches the seemingly elusive age of 4, he will be a wonderful little member of society. Stick with it, persevere and never give up; you will beat the tantrum...eventually!
I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to take the time to give a little support to mums-of-3s that you may come across and let them know with a smile or a well-meaning word. My desire is to champion a movement of parents who purposefully support each other in this difficult task of parenting.
Cheers
Saturday 10 March 2012
Back in the groove
Sometimes you just get buried under life. I constantly have people making comments to me like; "I don't know how you do it", "you're amazing!" and other equally undeserved statements. My response is always the same; one day at a time.
5 children or 2, business owner or stay-at-homer - the job of being a parent is THE hardest on Earth. I don't care if you're a brain surgeon or world leader, if you don't get this job right, the rest will all go to hay! We (well I do anyway!) feel guilty about everything we do (Am I disciplining appropriately?) and don't do (I don't spend enough time helping with homework!). We strive for perfection and get angry at ourselves when we don't quite get there. We compare (DON'T!!) ourselves to everyone else and wish we had or did or managed the way someone else does.
The truth is, we are all on a journey of discovery, and we won't always get it right. I don't have all the answers, a few I believe I have nutted out, but every day I try something new and learn through the process. I don't feel worthy when people praise me for what I do every day, because I fumble through most days and fall into bed at the end of it. I think I have learned though, that the key is to tackle each day individually and don't look too far ahead, use a weekly planner and always expect a spanner to be hurled into the mix.
This week, my family and I headed off for a 3 night hiatus, and I feel like I have gained a new vigor that I had felt slipping for quite a while now. We stayed at www.angourierainforest.com.au inYamba, and it was an awesome place for the kids to have fun and for us to relax. We were able to just be a family without commitment to the world around us and it was just what the doctor ordered (literally).
Sometimes you just need to stop and look at the big picture, to appreciate what you have around you and to get yourself into the position to dive straight back into your life. So, here I am, ready for whatever life sees fit to throw at me on my journey, and hoping that I manage to doggy-paddle to the other side.
Cheers
5 children or 2, business owner or stay-at-homer - the job of being a parent is THE hardest on Earth. I don't care if you're a brain surgeon or world leader, if you don't get this job right, the rest will all go to hay! We (well I do anyway!) feel guilty about everything we do (Am I disciplining appropriately?) and don't do (I don't spend enough time helping with homework!). We strive for perfection and get angry at ourselves when we don't quite get there. We compare (DON'T!!) ourselves to everyone else and wish we had or did or managed the way someone else does.
The truth is, we are all on a journey of discovery, and we won't always get it right. I don't have all the answers, a few I believe I have nutted out, but every day I try something new and learn through the process. I don't feel worthy when people praise me for what I do every day, because I fumble through most days and fall into bed at the end of it. I think I have learned though, that the key is to tackle each day individually and don't look too far ahead, use a weekly planner and always expect a spanner to be hurled into the mix.
This week, my family and I headed off for a 3 night hiatus, and I feel like I have gained a new vigor that I had felt slipping for quite a while now. We stayed at www.angourierainforest.com.au inYamba, and it was an awesome place for the kids to have fun and for us to relax. We were able to just be a family without commitment to the world around us and it was just what the doctor ordered (literally).
Sometimes you just need to stop and look at the big picture, to appreciate what you have around you and to get yourself into the position to dive straight back into your life. So, here I am, ready for whatever life sees fit to throw at me on my journey, and hoping that I manage to doggy-paddle to the other side.
Cheers
Sunday 4 March 2012
Boys and girls
I have always been intrigued by the differences between genders in children. I suppose that's partly to do with having only boys and wondering what we're "missing out on". One thing that stands out to me with my boys is that they are quick to fight but forgive effortlessly. When I was teaching I found that girls held onto the hurt a little longer (especially from about 8 years old). Of course even amongst the same gender there are variances. I would love to know if those of you with children of both genders in your family have stories of obvious gender differences. I have always given my boys toys that are specific for both genders; they have played with trucks and Lego and dolls and prams. I have noticed though, that they have always had a 'natural' preference towards the male-stereotyped toys. Have you seen boys running around at the park with a stick that has been transformed into an AK-47 by some very imaginative little boy! I promise we have not encouraged or condoned this! Somewhere deep in their inherent being, they have found the primitive desire to act out an attack on people and things. At Funkee Monkees on Saturday we had 3 girl's parties, and the noticeable result was an increased level of high-pitched squealing. A quote from the father of one of the offending squealers was "you never get use to that". I am sure he's right, and I am glad I'll never know, but there is going to be a plethora of boy won't-get-use-tos that I will go through before my parenting days are done.
Cheers
Cheers
Friday 2 March 2012
Welcome to Monkee Chatter
http://www.funkeemonkees.com.au
Hello
Thanks for dropping in!
Welcome to a place where mums and dads and grandparents and anyone who wants to vent/rant/advise/be advised/cry/scream about kids, can!
I want to let you know about what I have learned on my scary ride of parenting, and what I see every day in my worklife.
A little about me; I am Rachel, 36, wife and mum of 5 boys (aged 6 months to nearly 10), owner of Funkee Monkees Cafe and Playcentre, primary school teacher.
I don't profess to know everything about parenting, but I have got a lot of mum kilometres on the clock, and I am so fortunate to be able to talk to so many amazing mums every single day.
I love hearing everyone's different story; from pregnancy and child-birth stories to how do you live with the humiliation of a public tantrum. I want to share some of the stories and anecdotes that I hear and see at Funkee Monkees and in my own house!
I have opinions, and I hope sometimes I'm helpful and that you get a laugh, or advice, or let some steam out from reading what I have to say and telling me your stories too.
Cheers
Rachel
Hello
Thanks for dropping in!
Welcome to a place where mums and dads and grandparents and anyone who wants to vent/rant/advise/be advised/cry/scream about kids, can!
I want to let you know about what I have learned on my scary ride of parenting, and what I see every day in my worklife.
A little about me; I am Rachel, 36, wife and mum of 5 boys (aged 6 months to nearly 10), owner of Funkee Monkees Cafe and Playcentre, primary school teacher.
I don't profess to know everything about parenting, but I have got a lot of mum kilometres on the clock, and I am so fortunate to be able to talk to so many amazing mums every single day.
I love hearing everyone's different story; from pregnancy and child-birth stories to how do you live with the humiliation of a public tantrum. I want to share some of the stories and anecdotes that I hear and see at Funkee Monkees and in my own house!
I have opinions, and I hope sometimes I'm helpful and that you get a laugh, or advice, or let some steam out from reading what I have to say and telling me your stories too.
Cheers
Rachel
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